Social media can be a pain if you just went through a break-up as it throws up constant reminders of your former partner. Here are expert tips on how to deal with it.

 

Psychotherapist and trauma therapist Hvovi Bhagwagar says that seeing posts from an ex can be a trigger for some people and make them feel anger, sadness or jealousy. “So it may be better to cut ties. However, if that is not possible then manage the emotions that will naturally emerge,” she says.

Keep in mind that stalking an ex is very unhealthy and can cause a lot of issues. “It can lead to obsessive reading of their feeds to check if they are with someone else, comparing the ex’s life with your own, and an urge to have a rebound relationship to get the feeling of “being in love” again. Your ex may find out, get really angry about this and the bitterness between you will worsen,” says Bhagwagar.

Going cold turkey, even on social media, is the best solution for dealing with a break-up. “This prevents flare-ups, reduces emotional pain (especially if the ex has moved on), and prevents the temptation of comparing how their life is (better/worse) than yours,” says Bhagwagar.

* While you don’t need to make a public announcement about the break-up, Bhagwagar recommends you send a generic forward or make a phone call to your closest family and friends about it.

* Avoid sending forwards, quotes, and pictures with personal messages of hatred or anger. “It’s a passive-aggressive way of sending a message and appears immature on a social platform. Avoid gossiping to friends or sympathetic listeners about how much your ex hurt you. Don’t post anything if you are drunk,” says Bhagwagar.

* You can choose to disable settings on social platforms that bring up unpleasant memories from your past. Block them on Twitter or FB, which will prevent you from seeing comments by your ex. “It’s wise to do this in the early stages of break-up when the hurt/pain is especially intense. Re-read anything you post after your break-up. Anything said in a moment of anger becomes a written record,” says Bhagwagar.

The quotes appeared in the online version of Hindustan Times on July 22nd 2018